You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Welp...herpes.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
