i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
