i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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