Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize