I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
