Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
