White coat. Heels.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
