somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The air was thick with penises
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
