just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I wear drunk well.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
