I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
