i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
