if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
