Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize