Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
