His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
