bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
