I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
