And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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