he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
