If i come over, it means nothing
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
