I only kidnapped one of them. chill
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
