i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize