This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
