You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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