I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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