Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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