I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize