It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
