She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We need a shit load of segways right now
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
