My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i came on her dog
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
