Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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