I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
