How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
