Pappa wants mamma naked
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize