her vagine was all disorganized.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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