New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
