Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
