i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
