So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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