Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I am mentally ready for anal.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
