I understand Curling. That high.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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