We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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