How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
