Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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