We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
