I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
