why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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