i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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