may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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