NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize