why do cheetos always look like penises
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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