wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
