yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize