I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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