I'm gonna have a badass scar
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
