my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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