come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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