there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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