I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well I just put wine in my tea
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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