super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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