I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
