He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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