I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
