we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
