so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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