the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
