From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize