Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
