Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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