how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
