i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
