Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
